Thursday, March 30, 2006

Pants


I am soooo sick of jeans. Yes they are classic, match with everything and constitute 99% of my pants wardrobe but I honestly can't stand them anymore. Luckily I found a nice pair of khakis on the weekend and I hope I don't wear them to death every day and end up looking like a homeless rubbie. Shopping at Value Village I might just be that, but I prefer the term "thrifty bum". So I'm here to report my other good Value Village finds; white leather moccasin-like sandals, (they sound weird but ar actually quite cute and fit in nicely with the Spring trend of white ,floaty eyelet clothing) and a rosary beads. Good little Catholic children are told "Rosary beads are not a necklace" by their priests - only to get molested minutes later. Hmm, maybe that was a little religiously intolerant, I take that back. However, as a Jewish-born Agnostic the point is to be subversive.

Wednesday, March 29, 2006

Alarmingly Bad Fashion





I stumbled upon it quite innocently - a case of alarmingly bad fashion. Now, I usually have no opinion on guy style whatsoever because it's so darn banal I mean, I have no qualms with my boyfriend's style, but sometimes I wish he would wear something other than a Metallica tee under a button down shirt with nice fitting jeans and skate shoes. However, during math class today, I glanced up from my test to witness a crash and burn fashion disaster handing in their test. This guy was wearing a gray sweater that looked like it had been pucked from my grandfather's wardrobe and somebody slapped a Billabong logo onto it. His shorts were of the red waterproof surfer duuuuude kind, and he was wearing garish blue adidas "b-ball" shoes made out of what looked like shiny, hard plastic. You could've melted them down and made one monstrosity of a bulletproof vest. Too bad it would've been one ugly ass vest, even a cop wouldn't have put it on.


Friday, March 24, 2006

Fashion Minions


A very frightnening trend appears to be emerging at my school. The American Eagle outfitted masses aside, it seems the greater population of Centennial Secondary School showed up flaunting their goodies in a miniskirt and heels yesterday - including me. I was mortified, no one had planned this, how could it be? I braved the rest of the day in my "paint splatter" shirt, black miniskirt, fishnets and black pointy slingback heels. I just consoled myself by repeating the mantra "don't worry, you look better than them", and it semi worked until I showed up to school this morning. We had all cast off our skanky gear and gone for the classy look - today, everyone wore pearls! Chunky strands, long strands, simple strands. Every kind of pearl necklace imaginable seemed to be gracing the necks of students. Bizarre is the only word for it. Thank God it's the weekend, hopefully that will bring out the individual spirit in everyone again. If it doesn't, I'm banking on an alien conspiracy... I leave with a thought to ponder for the day.

Thursday, March 23, 2006

Spring's Ugliest Trend



Let's all give a round of applause to Spring's ugliest trend. Yes my friend, it is the horrible, hideous, dreaded gaucho pant. Can I possibly express to you how ugly these pants/capris/culottes are? Hopefully you're not blind and can judge that for yourself instead of listening to me wax poetic. Don't be fooled by the perfectly toned stomachs of the models in question. Without those the gaucho pants in the picture are nothing. They are a monster in disguise just waiting to prey on their next fashion victim. These terrible pants/capris/culottes are actually semi-popular at my school and I cannot stress how unflattering they are. EVERYONE looks simply awful in them, and you are no exception to the rule. Don't ask me if those pants make you look fat, 'cause you know I'll tell the truth. Even this model looks a healthy weight in these, and is it really that unfair to speculate that she's plagued by an eating disorder?

Friday, March 17, 2006

Rawr! Part 2

So that shopping trip to Toronto? Uber-successful, by my cutthroat standards. (Probably the first time I've been to Toronto, and not cried in a few years too!) H&M was the store I was most excited to visit and the one where I bought the most stuff. There I acquired: a satin black tote bag with tiny white polka dots and a cartoon cat on the bottom left hand corner. A white spiked belt - 'cuz I'm all about the spikes. (Fight me bitch, I'm tough.) A gorgeous chandelier necklace. It's so sparkly and pretty and perfect for wear with low-cut shirts. A low-cut camisole from the lingerie section with cute little inconspicuous giraffes on it. So ligt and summery! However, my best purchase didn't come from a foreign chain store. It came from a little hole-in-the-wall vintage store and is...Ta da!!!

A fabulous leopard print coat for only $20! As of now it's a little big but with a few minor nips, tucks and new buttons It'll be a brand new leopard pea coat! (Okay, maybe brand new is pushing it. It'll still smell like a bus stationwith an AIDS ridden hobo living in it. Okay, that was overdoing it as well. Musty is the word for it's smell. Which is perfectly acceptable for a vintage coat.) Anyhow, I can't believe I was able to function normally without it and I have the feeling this coat will be my one and only love of all of time. For this week at least. Now people will be able to credibly call me a crazy old cat lady. (Tee hee).

Tuesday, March 14, 2006

McFashion



I have discovered an increasingly disturbing fashion trend. McDonald's t-shirts...Featured in ELLEgirl's latest isue and discovered by me on www.delias.com. I am finding this very hard to comprehend. With all this anti-corporation backlash are people trying to embrace their inner conspicuous consumer (thanks Thorstein Veblen - I have yet to read you!)? My emotions are in a severe flux right now. Should I be happy and buy one to promote my employers and suggest a new McDonald's uniform consisting of these cute shirts - or should I fight this trend with every fibre in my body? After all, the beef patties are a strange shade of grey and we are one of the most wasteful and environmentally unfriendly fast food restaurants in the biz. You could feed NYC's homeless population with the amount of food we waste. We don't even recycle! Oh dear monotheistic deity, I am ever so torn!

Sunday, March 12, 2006

Anticipation

I get to go to the metropolitan-mecca of Toronto with my mom on Thursday, and the anticipation is fricking killing me! I'm so excited that I'm even browsing websites of stores that I plan to visit. Let me tell you, the Gap website makes me incredibly glad that I have a very individual style formulated by thrift stores, discount shops and my mom's '80s clothing. However, I did a little dance when I saw these shoes. I just looove them, and this picture alone will tide me over until the train leaves for our destination!

Casterweeds and Glasses.


Not to get bossy or anything, but I positively COMMAND you to visit Casterweeds. It is the most fascinating and fabulous online jewelery store I have ever seen - and this girl even makes the pendants herself as well! (By the way. She's really pretty too, I know because I visited the Myspace!) Okay, so get to heeding that command. Immediately!

I also thing I should mention that I got a new pair of frameless glasses. I've been bespectacled since I was in Grade 3 and have always been quite self-conscious about them. I've tried contacts but was completely inept at trying to put them in so I gave up on those, but I thought the frameless would be a nice way to make my glasses less obvious. Until laser-eye surgery, that is.

Monday, March 06, 2006

Geek Squad

My school has a secret geek society. It's called the Reach Team, and I'm on it. The Reach Team, to describe it more actally is a collection of five students who play trivia at lunchtime, and bejeezus it's fun! I've decided to memorize all of the Capital Cities in the world, even if it kills me and pollutes my brain with useless knowledge. Anyways, we get to make geeky t-shirts to identify ourselves! I keep insisting on a violently garish shade of pink, which would obviously heighten our geek status and allow the English teachers (who are also our coaches) to match their clothes. The English department matches their outfits, it's kinda weird. However, the same English department wants violently garish yellow shirts because our school colours are "green and gold", and last years team shirts were green (neither violent nor garish). We've also decided to put the names of various Wizard of Oz characters on the sleeve and an 8 word sentence whose words can be arranged at will on the backs of the shirts. My Wiz character is the Wicked Witch, of course but so far I'm having trouble thinking of an 8 word sentence. "Cough cough cough cough cough cough cough monkeys" was rejected. Will you folks comment and help me think of a frighteningly witty rearrangeable sentence?

In another story, today I received my Adam and the Ants shirt from eBay and also found a very ironic website dishing out advice on how to be punk. Ironic, no?

Saturday, March 04, 2006

Interesting Customers


I'm not gonna lie. I work at McDonalds - and sometimes we can get some pretty darn interesting customers. Today a group of semi-punk rockers came in. One of them was wearing these spiky leather gloves, purple nail polish and had blue hair. Another girl was slightly emo-ish (she goes to my school) but still manages to look neat and has blue hair. But the most awesome looking guy I have ever seen in person was with him. He had a yellow mohawk (massively tall, perfectly spiked) and the most dangerous looking leather jacket I have ever seen. It was so spiky that he could've mauled someone just by turing around too quickly. It looked something like this, and my knees turned to jelly. His face wasn't even nearly attractive but I really do want to marry him. Or someone like him, at least. It is my life goal to become the significant other of a guy with a spiky leather jacket. I absolutely adore those guys, and they always have spectacular taste in music.
:)